Late night, finally got the busted up laptop back repaired.
Quick update before the real story?
Ready for big kid time. Sure being a college kid is great, but not nearly as satisfying as I want my life to be.
Did the whole fuck buddy thing. Didn’t love it. Felt kinda gross afterwards. Ready for the long term commitment shit now. Like with a sparkle on my left hand. I don’t know what else there is for me to “do” that prevents me from getting in a serious relationship. I don’t want to fly from guy to guy. I hate having to train a new one every time.
I don’t feel the fighting urge to party. I’m no longer trying to drown myself so I can’t feel pain anymore.. I’m not running or hiding.
I like dancing, and on occasion, I would love to shake things up.
I like drinking, whether it be a little, or a lot. But now i’d do it out of enjoyment. Rather than just so I can be blind to the situation I was in and the boys I used.
Drugs. Passing fling. Shit didn’t work. Too damn expensive. Way below my standards. I am better than a lot of the things i did and people i hung out with during my few months of darkness.
I work alot more than i have to now, because there is little else I’d rather do. Few people I’d rather spend my time with.
Now on to the main point:
Lets just call him Psycho. Amelia and Stella, I’ve told you a few of my concerns regarding him.
He is not right. Mentally unstable. Because I cannot imagine anyone really being this stupid.
He was ok. At first. Nothing great. Someone way below my standards, an easy fuck, so no risk of getting attached to it.
He could carry on a conversation that didn’t make me want to slap him. Even though his “gangsta talk” sometimes made me wish I would have just stuck with Marine. I hate a white boy that talks like a black boy.
He smelled bad. Cigarette smoke and weed… ugh.
Well I noticed he started getting clingy pretty early. Tried to cut it off at least twice. He actually cried. I was so startled I just told him never mind.. I mean he only knew me for like 2 weeks at that point.
He would send me texts saying he missed me when i was only gone for an hour. He would call me repeatedly if i didn’t answer, text me all the time when I asked him to back off, and could not take a simple hint. So I got mean. I flat out told him I would text him, he was never to text me. But of course, pot head psycho was not capable of simple directions.
He would ask me all the time if i was mad. Bother me all the time asking for more cuddles, affection, whatever the fuck. I never recall telling this boy he had a chance at dating me. I was clear that it would never happen. From the beginning. So the fact he got hurt, was his own damn fault.
Eventually I got so sick and disgusted with him I took my dog and left. I left belongings at his house just so I could get away from him quicker.
I told him to stop calling.. Kindly at first. And soon, I just ignored everything he sent.
He found out information about me, that only some people I considered friends could tell him. I felt betrayed, and no longer put in the effort to be friends with people who would sell me out, and who would not apologize when I confronted them.
And with this information, he only became more of a bother.
Then he sent me some really nasty texts. I can’t remember exactly what he said, all i remember is thinking “wow. what a psychotic loser. Glad I left when i did.” Then following his rage, he sent like 5 apology texts and left voice mails in that whiney, annoying, black guy voice of his.
When he showed up at my work, that is when I completely lost my temper with him.
He used the excuse that his grandpa was dying and his parents needed a hotel near the hospital. My boss told me to take care of him. But i got up and left the office without a word. I was so scared and angry my hands shook. Afterwards, my boss asked me what was up and said he saw that his presence bothered me he told him we didn’t have vacancy even though we did. Thank God for perspective people!
I told him that if he ever came near me again I would take out a restraining order on him. He wasn’t to text or call me ever again. I never wanted him, I was tired of his bullshit, I wasn’t his friend. He said ok, but guess who started up again a few weeks later???
Madrid answered the phone once, I listened to the entire conversation. Madrid politely asked him to stop calling me. I was actually surprised at how calmly he talked. Psycho started screaming into the phone that Madrid was “talking shit and he was going to kill him and drag his dead body across everything he owned.” ….. How. Dare. He.
No piece of filth slime like him deserves to even speak to Madrid much less say what he said. I was livid. Nobody threatens the people I care about. I took the phone and unleashed all my fury. I told him he was pathetic and didn’t accept that he was not good enough for me. He was never to call me. Never to think of me. Never to text me. Never to even say my name. He was shit beneath my feet and was a fool for thinking I would ever love or even like a person like him.
I have never been so mean to a person before in my life. Never have I been so mad and fed up with a person. I don’t regret what I said. I was kind to him for too long. If he cant accept this with grace, then he needed to be put in his place.
Oh and I had a wonderful 4 week vacation of silence before he crawled back like a dog.
I swear to God if this persists, I will take out a restraining order. I should not have to change my phone number! I like my number. I’ve had it for 4 years! I want to keep it. And no pathetic psycho pot head is going to make me change it.
Apologies for the Long Rant. But I have had it up to my neck with Psycho and nobody except Madrid and my parents really seem to understand the frustration and fear I have towards this pathetic individual. Every time I speak to my father, he asks if he has contacted me again. My dad was livid, he wanted me to take legal action right away. But “legal action” always seemed to be a thing really trashy girls dealt with when they had a family dispute or baby daddy problems.
I had hoped the dog could learn.
And if he can’t, then he will just have to be put down.